Becoming Scotland’s first minister was a piece of piss

Dear Holly,

The battle to become Scotland’s first minister turned out to be a piece of piss. I’m thinking I’ll aim higher next time, maybe go for Supreme Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea or something. Am I getting too big for my boots?

Nicola Sturgeon


Dear Nicola,

Spiderman tells us that with great power comes a cool spandex costume and the chance to jump off the roof of next door’s garden shed. But Spiderman is rubbish and so is Batman and so is GI Joe. As a strong woman in a position of power you need to ask yourself, what would Barbie do? The answer is probably just to smile vacantly, wear high heels, remain naked from the waist up and do the splits as much as possible.

Hope that helps,