BRITONS have been urged to stop covering their arses when they make a hash of things at work.“Sorry but I’m only fucking human”
Research by the Institute for Studies found that pathetic excuses and elaborate arse-covering are costing the economy £49 billion per year.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: Too few Britons lack the integrity to just say I did it wrong and take the consequences like a grown up.
Mostly they either just blame someone else or write a long boring email highlighting the strengths of the project.
Sales manager Emma Bradford said: The bulk of my working week is spent trying to find scapegoats for my daily cock-ups and generally manipulating things so that I look less useless.
It would be lovely to just say I did it wrong but I am a bad person who will pull any kind of shit if it means I get to buy a Range Rover.
Council manager Roy Hobbs said: Last week I launched a Free bikes for muggers initiative that in retrospect was a really bad idea.
Instead of just keeping my head down or being really aggressive to anyone who questioned my judgement like usual, I sent and email saying sorry I fucked up.
Everyone thought it was a massive joke because honesty is not practised here.