Dear Holly: I need a summer make-over

Dear Holly,

I need a summer make-over. Over the winter I’ve done that usual thing of slipping into a look that says, ‘I am a merciless, capitalist party animal; I’m going to dismantle the state piece by juicy piece and you plebs can do nothing about it’. But I want something softer and lighter for the warm weather, maybe with slightly more humanity round the eyes. Have you got any tips?

George

Westminster

Dear George,

Did you know that a glitter pen makes an excellent lipstick for a dog? If the dog’s hair is light enough, you can probably also do some contouring with a Sharpie around the cheeks, and maybe even write a rude word on its back. Why spend hours doing your own make-up when you can get instant gratification from vandalising a Yorkshire terrier?

Hope that helps,

Holly