I’ve had a change of heart: I’ll give back all my fame and fortune and switch off Facebook forever. Like Frankenstein, I have watched my precious creation gradually morph into a terrifying monster. Videos of beheadings are one thing, but thousands of selfies of middle-aged women with no make-up is enough to make me sick in my mouth. I don’t care if it’s for a good cause: no-one should have to see such atrocities in their newsfeed. Please make them stop.
My granny says that in the olden days people used to take photos of other people, as well as flowers and mountains and all sorts of other pretty things. How weird is that? Why on earth would you want to take a picture of anything other than your own amazing face? I told everyone at school and they were like: ‘no way!’ and then we all took a photo of our reactions to this news and uploaded them to the internet so that the rest of humanity could witness the importance of our incredulous faces.
Hope that helps,