My wife has grown distant from me. I am probably being paranoid, but yesterday I caught her with the postmans hand up her dressing gown. She claims he mistook her for a post box and was just picking up the days letters, but I am beginning to wonder if there isnt something going on.
From what I can tell, husbands are like the grown-up equivalent of boy bands. They are intensely appealing for about six months at most and then they quickly grow tiresome. Try to look at it from a girls point of view for a change. One minute youre at a JLS gig being treated for hysteria in the Birmingham NEC medical tent; the next you are using your posters of Aston Merrygold and Co. to line the cage of Mr Bobbles your pet hamster. Ladies cant help being fickle about men, we just like to keep our options open. The best course of action for you now is to accept defeat, occupy yourself with a substance abuse problem for a few years and then try to win the affections of your wife back when shes a desperate middle-aged loser, lacking entirely in taste and street cred. If it can work for Take That, it can work for you.
Hope that helps!