I’m dancing frantically and trying to get off with the dog

Dear Holly,

I recently read in the news that middle class women like me are drinking too heavily. Admittedly, I do like to quaff the odd box of Chenin Blanc of an evening, but I thought I had this under control. If my kids are in bed sleeping, what difference does it make if I am in the kitchen dancing frantically to Gloria Gaynor wearing only my pants and trying to get off with the dog?

Denise

Swaffham

Dear Denise,

I think that mummies drinking alcohol is a good thing. For starters, it makes them much more likely to give you a whole packet of Haribo for your tea. It also means that they won’t make you do your homework or watch Dancing on Ice with them as usual. Instead, while mummy is busy sobbing like a banshee as she rearranges the living room furniture to Cotton Eyed Joe, you can start trying to light a real fire in the hearth of the dolls’ house or make some cocktails from all the pretty drinks you found under the sink.

Hope that helps!

Holly