Ever since my son was born recently, I’ve been struggling a bit. Yesterday I found myself standing at the kitchen sink weeping, looking out at the deserted garden as milk dripped from my nipples. Is this the baby blues you hear about?
Whatever the problem is, you need to give yourself a slap and step up to the plate, because you’re a dad now and you have things to do. Firstly, you need to sort out your CD collection and ensure you’ve stocked up on Santana, The Mavericks, and Michael Buble (for the ladies). Then you must revamp your wardrobe, ensuring you have an adequate supply of slate blue corduroy trousers and plenty of uninspiring fleece-based attire for going to B & Q in at the weekends. Now just go a bit bald and congratulations, you are no longer a man but a middle-aged paternal idiot like you get in TV adverts for fast food and household products.
Hope that helps,