Our friends expect an obscene display of wealth

Dear Holly,

I’m getting married to my fiancée in May and she has left me to organise the whole wedding (for some reason it’s old hat to her). Everyone will be expecting an over-the-top, vulgar show of obscene wealth and distastefully decadent bling. However, I notice that the Travelodge near PC World in Staines is doing a really cheap deal on weddings just now which includes a double room plus a hot buffet and DJ for £399.99 and it seems crazy to pass it up. What should I do?

Kanye West

Los Angeles

holly2111111Dear Kanye,

Whatever you choose for your wedding, just don’t show off because it could get you killed. A girl in my class, Katie Basset, has a rich dad who paid for the ultimate birthday party for her. There was a circus and an ice rink, and Duncan from Blue turned up to sing happy birthday to her. Problem was, Katie wanted to impress as many people as possible, so as well as all her rich pals, she also invited us plebs, who started a stampede when word went out that there were iPods in the party bags. Thankfully Katie only suffered minor spinal injuries and a broken nose. Perhaps next time she’ll stick to boxes of Smarties.

Hope that helps!