Should I get a swastika tattooed on my face?

 

Dear Holly,

I’m supposed to be the biggest badass in One Direction, but now everyone thinks Louis and Zayn are the bollocks just because they smoked what the newspapers are calling ‘a roll-up blunt cigarette joint’. I was thinking of having a swastika tattooed on my face just to remind everyone that I am far more hardcore than those other four middle-class pansies. What do you think?

Harry Styles
1D Tour Bus

holly2111111Dear Harry,

When I grow up I’m going to be a rebel. I’ll do bad stuff like give the finger to lollipop ladies and do massive burps at the dinner table and leave supermarket trolleys in the wrong place. My dad does all these things and he’s really naughty. He even once called my granny a ‘satanic bitch’ behind her back. She didn’t hear him though so I helped him out by shouting it for him really loud so that everyone in the post office could hear.

Hope that helps,

Holly