RACIST nans are to set out their programme for government after seizing control of the country.
Senior civil servants will meet with influential 78-year-old Mary Fisher later today, although she has already warned that they are not coming in if their shoes are mucky.
The issues will include ‘other races’, why they keep changing the names of chocolate bars, and next door’s tree which is now so tall it nearly touches the telephone wires.
Fisher said: “I’ve made a list of all the races that want sending home, which is basically all of them apart from the Asian man who drives the Dial-A-Ride bus.
“He can stay. Not his family though.”
Fisher will also lobby the prime minister to enforce weekly grandchild visits, make Post Office staff be a bit more friendly and to replace all other television presenters with the hosts of Country File.