Ask Holly: Should I go to HR about horrible Ed Miliband?

Dear Holly,

I’ve got a colleague who appears to have it in for me. He’s always arguing with me and moaning about stuff I do and really hurts my feelings by saying nasty things about me. He is so horrid to me all the time. Yesterday, after PMQs I ended up weeping in the toilets, and Nick Clegg had to give me a very long cuddle. Should I go to HR about horrible Ed Miliband?

David Cameron,

Westminster

Dear David,

You need to sort these things out yourself, because no-one will respect you or want to play with you if you’re nothing but a big tell-tale tit. Next time he starts mocking you just call him a dicksplat and strike him sharply about the head with your Spiderman lunchbox. You might end up being wedgied to death, but at least you’ll die with dignity.

Hope that helps,

Holly