I’ve got a colleague who appears to have it in for me. He’s always arguing with me and moaning about stuff I do and really hurts my feelings by saying nasty things about me. He is so horrid to me all the time. Yesterday, after PMQs I ended up weeping in the toilets, and Nick Clegg had to give me a very long cuddle. Should I go to HR about horrible Ed Miliband?
You need to sort these things out yourself, because no-one will respect you or want to play with you if you’re nothing but a big tell-tale tit. Next time he starts mocking you just call him a dicksplat and strike him sharply about the head with your Spiderman lunchbox. You might end up being wedgied to death, but at least you’ll die with dignity.
Hope that helps,