Sinitta just can’t take a hint

Dear Holly,

Normally I pride myself on tact and diplomacy but a certain situation is wearing thin. My ex-girlfriend just can’t take a hint. Since our relationship ended I have dated a long line of beauties and even got engaged to a couple of them. Did she get the message? No. Now I seem to have got some poor lass in the family way and can you believe it, the ex is STILL sniffing about. How can I get Sinitta to sod off? 



holly2111111Dear Simon,

You need to be very careful with this one, because if you say the wrong thing, this person may well turn on the water works and tell the teacher, and then you’ll be hauled up for bullying. I once told Suzanna Potterton she wasn’t invited to my party because of her terrible flaky scalp (legitimately, I was worried it might contaminate my Peppa pig birthday cake), and next thing I know I am on the naughty table being made to write a poem expressing my deep shame and regret. Unfortunately, as I soon discovered, there is no rhyme for dandruff in Roget’s Thesaurus.

Hope that helps,