Your problems solved, with Holly Harper

Dear Holly,
My daughter-in-law recently lent me Al Gore’s award winning environmental documentary, The Day After Tomorrow. I didn’t realise things had got so bad and I am seriously considering topping myself – is there any hope left for our wretched planet?

Dear Fern,
Are you sure all this stuff about the environment is true? It’s always a good idea to verify information with a credible source before you act on it. I once spent a whole week collecting cigarette butts from the ground because Wayne Taylor told me that the Body Shop buy them off you for £5 for 100 and use them as hamster tampax. And then there was that time my big sister assured me that the tooth fairy’s sister is the bogie fairy and that she comes once a year to collect all the bogies you’ve wiped under your pillow and leaves behind a shiny pound coin. Looking back, I could have avoided that smacked bottom, plus not wasted so many delicious snot nuggets if I had just checked with Wikipedia first.
Hope that helps!