Friday, 6th December 2019

Five nostalgic things that were sh*t if you’re honest about it

A BIT of nostalgia is excellent, but are you fondly misremembering things that were in fact total boll*cks? Let's find out..

Spud U Like Wasn’t it great when, circa 1982, all the family went to Spud U Like? No. A typical meal was a potato with baked beans and cheese, or for less adventurous eaters, just butter. The franchise couldn’t have been less ambitious if it had been called Meat Paste Sandwich U Like.

1980s computer games Men of a certain age have incredibly happy memories of hammering away at their Spectrum or Commodore 64 for days on end. However they forget many of the games were grimlyrepetitive, consisting of doing the same thing at increasingly mental speeds, or full of rage-inducing bugs and poor design. Addictive rather than good, like crack for 12-year-olds.

MTV It was brilliant when MTV started up in the UK - if you had a desperate urge to watch sh*t videos for sh*t songs like Poison by Alice Cooper 15 times a day for a brief glimpse of tits.

The A-Team Der-der-der-der, der-der-der! So went the theme music before another ‘adventure’ that was completely f*cking identical to the last one, but with a slightly different actress with big hair. The possibly-coked-up script writers invariably failed to think of an ending that did not involve putting armour plating on something.

Powerballs It’s indicative of how bad the 1970s were when the last word in excitement was owning a rubber ball that could bounce really high. After hurling it at your drive for a few minutes it would invariably get lost, leading to tears, weary dads buying a new one and more money for the devious manufacturers.