I feel like Bruce Willis wearing a sandwich board

Dear Holly,

Having burned a few bridges with the African-American community, I currently feel a bit like Bruce Willis wearing that sandwich board at the beginning of Die Hard With A Vengeance. You know, the rubbish one with Samuel L Jackson, not the rubbish one with him out of Justified or the rubbish one set in Russia. And the sandwich board is saying rude things about black people, not just GOLF SALE. Anyway, can you suggest a good hiding place?

Justin Bieber
Undisclosed location

holly2111111Dear Justin,

My teacher says that hiding from your problems is never going to solve them: you should be brave, own up to your mistakes and take the punishment you deserve. On the face of it, this seems like good advice, but not so much when it results in you being strangled to death by your big sister for cutting out some pretty shapes from her One Direction tickets or being grounded for life for shooting next door’s dog up the bumhole with a potato gun. Ultimately, the best advice in all similar situations is simply this: Run. Run and hide.

Hope that helps,

Holly