Is it too late for you to become a stunt man? Take our test to find out...

‘THAT’S it!’ We’ve all thought it. ‘That’s it. I’m going to jack this job in and finally become a stunt man.’ But is being nearly 40, slightly overweight and having no experience of stunt work going to hold you back? Why not take our quick test to find out…

How are you at riding a motorbike, at speed, down a 100 foot ramp before jumping it across 12 double decker buses?

A. I did that very same thing just yesterday.
B. Sounds a bit dangerous to me. Though I could probably do one double decker.

Could you convincingly fall down four flights of stairs without injuring yourself?

A. Of course. I don’t even bother walking down the ones in my house any more to be honest.
B. I once slipped on some dog poo and sprained my ankle. Does that count?

Are you good at fencing, rock climbing, scuba diving or martial arts?

A. It’s like you’re reading straight from my CV.
B. I once slipped on some dog poo and sprained my ankle. Does that count?

Mostly As: You’re clearly the type of bloke Steve McQueen would have looked up to. Well done.

Mostly Bs: Just become a stunt man anyway. Best of luck.

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Lad in football shirt makes fun of nerds in Harry Potter robes 

AN absolute lad wearing a football shirt thinks some people wearing Harry Potter robes are pathetic, it has been confirmed.

Tom Logan wears a Chelsea shirt with ‘Lampard’ on the back, even though he has never played for  Chelsea and does not know Frank Lampard.

Logan said: “I saw the absolute nerds on my way back from Stamford Bridge. They were waiting to get into a midnight screening of The Half Blood Prince. They must have been standing there for an hour and a half. I can’t believe they’d stand and do absolutely nothing for that long.

“They were play fighting, shouting and bonding with other people in the vicinity over their shared love for a particular interest. They were all wearing the same elaborate costume. It was so stupid.

“I just don’t understand why these nerds feel the need to escape to this fantasy world. It’s for pansies. Not like football. I watched a man cry real tears on the pitch today because his leg was sore.”

He added: “It’s pathetic getting really into something so niche, and knowing so much about one tiny inconsequential thing.

“Why do they feel the need to stand around in the rain for 90 minutes, dressed as their favourite character and talking about these stories as if they’re part of them or helped shape them? It’s embarrassing.”