Be ready for a nasty shock, US and Britain tell Ireland

THE UK and US have wished Ireland good luck on its abortion referendum, but warned the country it may find out who it really is.

Joseph Turner, from Southport, said: “I really hope it goes well for you. Shows you as a modern, forward-thinking country, all that bollocks.

“But you know all those people you think you’ve moved on from, who you laugh at, whose outdated values make you shake your head in disbelief? Yeah?

“They are very much still around.”

New Yorker Carolyn Ryan added: “We had one of those votes between the future and the past, a real what-kind-of-nation-are-we thing.

“Did not turn out as one might have hoped.”

Tom Logan, from Cork, said: “We’re going to fuck it up, aren’t we? It’s like Galway Girl going to number one all over again.”