Is splitting the bill evenly a good idea, or do you have no concept of money?

YOU’VE enjoyed a marvellous meal with friends and now the bill has arrived. Should you just divide the whole thing equally, or do you actually understand how money works?

Take our quiz:

Who are you dining with? 

A) My good friends, who’ve been looking forward to this get-together all week as have I.
B) Some acquaintances who call themselves friends who I don’t like that much and certainly have no qualms about casually allowing to suffer for my pleasure.

How pricey is the restaurant? 

A) Nice but not what you’d call expensive, with an affordable wine list.
B) I don’t care. It’s not my problem.

What are you ordering?

A) No starter, a mid-range main course and perhaps a pudding if I’m feeling indulgent.
B) A starter I won’t eat, Waygu steak, a side dish, three bottles of wine, the cheese board, a couple of single malts between courses.

What is money? 

A) A token of payment used for goods and services, and there’s never bloody enough of it, is there! Haha. Please God don’t suggest we split the bill.
B) You know, I’m not really sure. I’ve never had to worry about it.

ANSWERS

Mostly As: Of course you shouldn’t split the bill, even if it is a pain in the arse totting up. And put in for the tip.

Mostly Bs: Dividing the total between the number of diners is simpler and fairer. It’s all just numbers, isn’t it?