I've given up masturbating and I feel brilliant!

by Nikki Hollis

I’VE finally taken the plunge and given up masturbating – and I’ve never felt better.

When I woke up feeling tired and washed out, I realised it was time for a new, masturbation-free me.

No more bashing the beaver – I’ve replaced self-pollution with an addiction to CrossFit and a new appreciation for the benefits of houmous and kimchee.

I’ve been pleasuring myself on a regular basis for over three decades now, and cynics might say it’s too late to stop frotting myself off. But the benefits have been shocking and immediate – I’ve got so much energy and my social life is better than ever because I’m not just at home tinkering with my bits.

Now, if I think about wanking, I just have an apple instead. Of course I couldn’t do it without the support of friends and family, many of whom have also given up fiddling with their bits (even if my sister Liz fell off the ‘wank-wagon’ today!).

I’m not trying to boast – I just want to inspire others. With determination and positivity, anyone can stop touching themselves in a sexual manner.

I bet Beyonce wishes she could do it too.

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Only 90 per cent of Airbnb rooms have hidden cameras

AIRBNB users have been reassured by reports that only nine out of 10 rooms have secret cameras recording their every move.

Research from the Institute for Studies showed that despite most people thinking every Airbnb room had at least three hidden devices filming them having sex or just undressing, some actually do not.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “We checked the first 10 rooms we came across in the London area and to no-one’s surprise the first nine all had cameras behind the big mirror that directly faces the bed.

“One even had a broadcast quality camera set up along with lights and a sound operator – who had a lampshade on his head – in the middle of the bedroom.”

“But we were surprised in the last property when, despite tearing the room apart and even unscrewing all the plug sockets from the walls, that there was no hidden camera at all.

“However there was a live snake in the airing cupboard.”

Airbnb user Tom Logan said: “If Airbnb landlords don’t even care enough about me to secretly film me whilst I sleep then I think I’ll just go to a Travelodge instead.”