IN case Brexit hasn’t ballsed things up enough, here are some other idiotic things Britain could have a vote about.
Britain is in a political death spiral after we voted to leave the EU for no particular reason. But has Brexit caused enough chaos and pointless antagonism? Or could we fuck things up even more by having a referendum on one of these equally unnecessary things that nobody sane cares about.
Bring back National Service but for wrestling
Because millennials are pathetic, we could have a referendum to restore National Service, not for the army but at a kind of wrestling academy run by Giant Haystacks (or nearest living equivalent of) where they must create patriotic ring personas like the Queen’s Corgi and Charles ‘Slapdown’ Darwin.
Fire a fried breakfast into space
Tick ‘yes’ if you would like to see two sausages, an egg, beans and black pudding loaded into a multi-billion pound space rocket and blasted in the cosmos.
Is Jaws 2 better than Jaws?
Experts claims Jaws is a cinema classic while Jaws 2 is a competent but uninspired sequel. But what do ‘experts’ know? They spend all their time laughed at you from the comfort of their big London houses. The voice of the people on Jaws 2 must be heard!
Something about the size of chocolate bars
Some vague thing about chocolate bars being too small these days. God knows. Everyone involved in this referendum is just doing it to get attention and possibly some sex.