Having five children is fine for middle-class people like me, but not the poor
By Carolyn Ryan
For me, having five children is an important personal choice, but for poor people it’s just incredibly irresponsible.
Just like snorting coke or gambling on horses, if middle-class people do it it’s sophisticated and aspirational, but if poor people do it, they’re shiftless, negligent scum.
My five kids will grow up as walking ecological catastrophes due to the fact that they will have enough money to buy massive cars and go on shitloads of foreign holidays, but I don’t care about that as long as I can keep popping out mini versions of myself.
Miserable naysayers tell me that my grandchildren will have to exist in an overpopulated, drought and flood-ridden hellhole, but I prefer not to think about that. And anyway, I’ve given up using plastic straws so I’m sure it will all be fine.
It’s well known that poor people neglect their children, whilst I take excellent care of mine by sending them to boarding school as soon as I can and throwing money at their problems instead of helping to solve them.
Children are the light of the world, especially as a status symbol that you don’t actually have spend much time with.