A DOG is still worried about the humans who collect his shit because they spent money on unnecessary presents for an occasion he does not understand.
Golden retriever Tom Logan was surprised to be given a new collar with his name on it by his owners as if they think he is aware of anything beyond when his next meal.
Tom said: “Are they out of their f**king minds? I can’t read, let alone appreciate festive gestures.
“Do they even realise I’m a dog? They’ve got kids so I assume they can tell the difference but maybe they’re stupider than I thought.
“And they’ve given the children a DVD ‘from the dog’ which I find even more worrying. What are these children going to grow up thinking? That I’m logging on to Amazon at night? And that I think Trolls World Tour can stand up to multiple viewings?
“I’d rather they use the money to get a new sofa for me to sit on as I’ve ruined their current one with scratching and the occasional piss up the back of it.”