HI kids, can’t wait until December 25th for your presents? Luckily Santa has already half-heartedly hidden them around your home in these places.
At the back of mummy and daddy’s wardrobe
Mummy and daddy’s wardrobe is full of lots of boring things, like office suits and those expensive pants from the internet your mum wears when you spend the weekend at your grandparents. Push your way past these garments though and you’ll find the Lego set or QR code for a Minecraft skin or whatever bollocks it is you’re into these days.
Under your parents’ bed
Wait until your parents have fallen asleep in front of Strictly Come Dancing, then sneak upstairs and crawl under their bed. Once you’ve wriggled your way past your dad’s collection of top shelf men’s interest magazines, you’ll discover a treasure trove of gifts and toys, some of which are only for mummies though so don’t touch them. Seriously, you don’t know where they’ve been.
The car boot
One of the harder places to break into because your parents will lose their shit if they see you running towards their Volvo XC60 with the keys. They’ll assume you want to let the handbrake off again for a laugh, so try and wait until you’re being driven somewhere then crawl through the little hole in the back of the arm rest.
In dad’s special fun shed
You know the place, it’s sort of like dad’s tree house only it’s at the end of the garden and filled with old tins of paint. Your dad must find them entertaining though because he spends endless hours there, especially when your mum’s sister visits. Look behind the concrete paving slabs he’s hoarding for no apparent reason and you’re bound to find your presents.
Up in the attic
This one defies logic. Why would Santa go to the effort of storing his presents in your attic? And why are there all these receipts from Hawkin’s Bazaar and Amazon, don’t his elves build everything in their magical workshop? Better ask your parents to explain this mystery, they’ll be more than happy to have a thorny discussion about the logistics of Santa after a long day at work.