Saturday, 11th July 2020

Man ejected from sofa in favour of blanket

A MAN has been ejected from his living room sofa so his wife has space to enjoy a blanket.

Tom Logan was given a look of pure evil as he tried to share the comfy throw, making him realise he should instead sit on the old armchair in the corner.

Logan said: “I thought it would be nice to snuggle up with Sarah, but apparently she only wants quality time with an oversized knitted item from Habitat. 

“I bought it for her too. It really hurts to be cuckolded by your own present.”

However wife Sarah denied any callous treatment, saying she had generously given her husband a cushion before sending him on his way. 

She said: “Not one of the posh cushions, obviously, but one that at least stopped a few of the armchair springs sticking in his back.”

In the past Logan had also been thrown off the settee because Sarah was spending quality time with the cat, a Tesco Finest lasagne and the Christmas Radio Times.