Mum unable to eat or sleep until kids write 'thank you' letters

A MOTHER has confessed she is unable to eat, sleep or feel anything but crushing guilt because her children have yet to write ‘thank you’ letters. 

Emma Bradford began feeling sick with worry at the social slight at 5.35am on Christmas Day. Since then, the fear that she will be universally shunned for her children’s ingratitude has only grown worse. 

Bradford said: “It’s been four days. What must great-auntie Kath think of us? 

“After she’d been so generous sending them those clothes that were their size two years ago their ignorance must sting agonisingly. I honestly don’t know if she’ll survive it. 

“Please kids, just take a moment out of of your holidays to write her a card, telling her how much you loved the present and a short precis of your year. Just do that one tiny thing, in neat handwriting with no mistakes. 

“I’ve been awake for 104 hours. I’m hallucinating. This morning I stabbed my hand with a fork and didn’t even feel it. But the second I close my eyes, I’m assailed by the spectres of every relative we have telling me what a terrible mother I am. Please help me.” 

Son Ewan Bradford said: “Yeah. mum’s on about something. Dunno what.”

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Family starts new Christmas tradition of staring at Nan through window

A LOVING family has started a magical new festive tradition of peering at elderly relatives through glass. 

The Johnsons are determined not to leave their oldest family members to enjoy a moment of the festivities in peace despite the pandemic.

Francesca Johnson said: “These are special times to share as a family. We’re making memories of shouted one-way conversations with our elders that will last a lifetime.

“Seeing their faces light up with a mixture of confusion and annoyance when we wave at them through their back windows has been magical.”

Helen Johnson, 84, said: “It’s such a relief not to have to be in the same house as those boring people for once.

“I only wish they weren’t hanging around steaming up my windows with all the chat I can’t hear because I deliberately didn’t put my hearing aids in this morning.

“I’ve slipped a fiver in each of their Christmas cards, and promised to stay alive until I get the vaccine. What more do I have to do to get them to leave me the f**k alone for once?”