Friday, 22nd January 2021

Mum unable to eat or sleep until kids write 'thank you' letters

A MOTHER has confessed she is unable to eat, sleep or feel anything but crushing guilt because her children have yet to write ‘thank you’ letters. 

Emma Bradford began feeling sick with worry at the social slight at 5.35am on Christmas Day. Since then, the fear that she will be universally shunned for her children’s ingratitude has only grown worse. 

Bradford said: “It’s been four days. What must great-auntie Kath think of us? 

“After she’d been so generous sending them those clothes that were their size two years ago their ignorance must sting agonisingly. I honestly don’t know if she’ll survive it. 

“Please kids, just take a moment out of of your holidays to write her a card, telling her how much you loved the present and a short precis of your year. Just do that one tiny thing, in neat handwriting with no mistakes. 

“I’ve been awake for 104 hours. I’m hallucinating. This morning I stabbed my hand with a fork and didn’t even feel it. But the second I close my eyes, I’m assailed by the spectres of every relative we have telling me what a terrible mother I am. Please help me.” 

Son Ewan Bradford said: “Yeah. mum’s on about something. Dunno what.”