Friday, 22nd January 2021

Presents reveal no-one in family knows each other

A FAMILY has passed another year without bothering to get to know one another well enough to buy suitable presents.

The O’Connor family have succeeded in maintaining a level of intimacy similar to that you develop with someone you get chatting to in a long queue at the post office.

Oliver, 34, said: “The family WhatsApp only really gets used to share news of who has died. Unfortunately this also means we can only think to give each other things like Boots gift cards.

“My sister gave me a truckle of stilton this year which I sense was a leftover from some of her corporate gifting, given that I’ve got a serious dairy allergy.”

Lucy O’Connor, 32, said: “I had a baby this year and I saw it as a chance for our family to build bonds beyond managing to remember each other’s names.

“However, my parents gave me a wooden doorstop for Christmas so I don’t think we’ll ever be close.”