Friday, 22nd January 2021

'Well they're not social distancing' says dad during every Christmas film

A DAD has decided to make comments about recent public health regulations during every Christmas movie.

Martin Bishop’s family are unsure whether he is merely cracking the same ‘joke’ about social distancing repeatedly or criticising the behaviour of pre-Covid fictional characters. 

Son Ryan said: “Dad first mentioned the lack of social distancing during Elf. I thought he was joking, because shortly afterwards he said ‘elf and safety’.

“I managed a weak laugh, but it didn’t stop there. He was very vocal about transmission rates in It’s a Wonderful Life

“He even said the R rate would be ‘exploding’ in The Muppet Christmas Carol, despite most of the cast being puppets made of felt.

“The only movie he’s let slide so far is Die Hard. I didn’t have the heart to tell him the ventilation shafts Bruce Willis crawls through are probably filled with airborne viruses.”

After thumbing through the Christmas Radio Times, Bishop now intends to address the issue of whether the characters in Shrek are breaking the rules on support bubbles.