Easter eggs all the same

Pretty much every branded egg a generic chocolate oval with either ‘geometric’ or ‘wood effect’ pattern.




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Dawkins crucifies velociraptor in Bishop of Southwark’s garden

PROFESSOR Richard Dawkins has crucified a plastic dinosaur in a bishop’s garden during a seven-hour rampage.

Dawkins arrived at the Bishop of Southwark’s residence in the early hours of this morning, swigging from a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 and carrying the life-sized replica velociraptor along with some planks, nails and a hammer.

He proceeded to goose-step around the garden, wearing a plastic Charles Darwin mask, and singing I am the Resurrection by the Stone Roses.

A visibly agitated Dawkins then climbed onto the roof of the bishop’s house and threw fossils at passers-by until a police marksman was able to stun the eminent naturalist with a tranquiliser dart.

An Oxford University spokesman said: “Easter is a particularly trying time for Richard. Last year he filled a pterodactyl egg with fun-size Mars Bars and threw it at some nuns.

“In 2010 he rode a donkey to Canterbury dressed as a trilobite.”