Wednesday, 5th August 2020

45-year-old gets two-day hangover after looking at pint

A 45-YEAR-OLD man is still bedridden with a steaming hangover 48 hours after glancing at a pint of Stella Artois.

Joseph Turner walked past a pub on Monday night and ever since has been suffering from symptoms that include dizziness, an inability to get through a sentence without groaning, dry heaves and a craving for a greasy bacon sandwich.

HE explained: “I only walked past the King’s Head on my way to little Tesco for some bits. There were these young lads drinking outside and they all had pints. I bet they had two or three each and were fine.

“Meanwhile I’d allowed my stare to linger on the amber nectar a few seconds too long. By the time I reached the checkout my head was thumping. On the way home I was sick in the gutter.”

Wife Melanie said: “He should know better at his age, allowing his eyes to focus on a pint of beer, and on a Monday too. At least leave it to the weekend so you’ve got time to recover.”

She added: “Not that I’m any better. I saw a bottle of red wine on Instagram last week and couldn’t drive until Friday.”