REST in peace, mandatory table service in pubs. Your valiant service will be remembered long after Freedom Day.
Months of social restrictions have taken their toll on the public, but you were always there to make us feel like big swinging dicks when the barman brought our drinks right over to our table.
No longer did we have to jostle at an overcrowded bar for a pint, struggling to get the attention of the staff by aggressively waving a tenner in their face. Whenever we made a pub reservation we knew we were in for a civilised evening, and we have you to thank for it.
We secretly hoped you would stick around after July 19th, although deep down we knew that was wishful thinking. It was only a matter of time until we were forced to get off our arses and carry our drinks around ourselves, but when we do, we’ll think of you and smile.
And that’s because for one fleeting year, thanks to you, us punters were treated like royalty, and we realised that maybe the Europeans have got this one right and being crushed cheek-by-jowl with shitfaced strangers isn’t the foundation of a good night out.
So go gentle into that good night, pub table service. You were worth downloading and struggling to use poorly designed apps for.