A TIRESOME moron is calling the last 24 hours until social restrictions lift ‘Freedom Day Eve’.
Eleanor Shaw came up with the twee term all by herself after cleverly noticing that lockdown rules end tomorrow, and that today is the day before that.
Shaw said: “Freedom Day didn’t quite sound enough like a bullshit marketing slogan based on celebrating nothing for my liking, so I thought I’d take it to the next level by copying the nauseating build-up of Christmas Eve.
“I’ve even got in the festive spirit of Freedom Day by getting pissed, deleting the NHS Covid-19 app and burning all of my face masks in a huge bonfire. After tomorrow I will never, ever need to wear one again. Boris said so, and he’s never wrong.”
Friend Donna Sheridan said: “This isn’t even the worst of it. Yesterday she pointed out that it was Freedom Day Eve Eve, and was wondering why John Lewis hadn’t made a tacky advert featuring a happy penguin to cash in on the big day.
“Anyway, I’m glad she’s having a nice time now as we’ll no doubt be back in lockdown by September.”