NOTHING pleases a Scotsman more than an English person paying tribute to their proud culture by saying a Scottish phrase in a terrible accent. Tom Logan of Colchester explains:
‘Och aye the noo’
This is a very popular phrase in Scottishland and Scots say it to each other daily. Shouting it on the streets of Edinburgh while dancing a rough approximation of a Highland jig and swigging Irn Bru will restore their love for the union.
Just left your house or got out of your car or a lift? Shout this to cause a ripple of heartwarming appreciation from any Scots nearby. You might also consider using it during a conversation on Scottish independence.
It’s a braw moonlicht nicht the nicht
A hilarious way of pointing out that the weather in Scotland makes it basically inhabitable. On the one evening a year Scots can spend outside because it’s not freezing, pissing down or both, Scots use its light to hunt down the wild Haggis and their offspring, Scotch eggs.
See you Jimmy
As we all know, Scots love to aggressively shout this at each other in tribute to their favourite comedian Russ Abbott – the ‘Big Yin’ – before having a fight. So why not join in?
’THERE’S BEEN A MURDAH!
Scottish people are reliably delighted to once again hear the line made famous by sweaty, old fashioned, no-nonsense detective Jim Taggart. And, given the prevalance of street violence and extreme alcoholism in our Highland cousins, there probably will have been a recent murder in their vicinity.
The most endearing time to use this widely used Scottish phrase is when expressing faux-amazement at modern technology that they don’t have in Scotland – such as electricity, bread or roofs on houses.
‘Donald where’s your trooosas’
If you shout this at old Jocko, you’ll have a tartan-clad friend for life as steadfast and loyal as the man on the shortbread tin. Ask him to say ‘Curly Wurly’, it’s f**king side-splitting.