Couple buy extra booze 'in case they’re snowed in'

A COUPLE have added extra alcohol to their shopping trolley in case they are trapped in the house by heavy snow. 

Nathan and Laura Muir, from Stevenage, which forecasters have warned will not get any snow his weekend, believe they are doing the sensible thing.

Nathan said: “No, two bottles of vodka, one of whisky, ginger wine and we may as well get six of prosecco. To be on the safe side.

“I’ll get the beers in. If we don’t need them we don’t need them, but I’d rather do it and be sorry than wish we hadn’t.

“It’s not just Saturday and Sunday, this could carry on well into Monday so we won’t be at work, so we’ve got to plan for that as well. Probably better get some brandy. That’s warming.”

Muir added: “Shit, we’ve forgotten milk. And bread.  It’s too late to go back now. It could start snowing at any point and we could die within seconds.

“Best to get home and make sure this litre bottle of Jack Daniels hasn’t gone off.”

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Man who insists London is best city in world mainly just sits around in his pants eating toast

A PROUD London resident who passionately argues his home city is better than Paris or New York spends all weekend watching television and eating toast. 

Julian Cook, from Crouch End, has not visited an art gallery, leading restaurant, the theatre or a concert venue since January, but still boasts about them to friends.

Colleague Emma Bradford said: “To hear Tom speak about London you’d presume he was a member at the Royal Academy, a regular at Fabric and was always journeying to Shoreditch for the latest pop-up Indonesian.

“I asked him for directions to the BFI the other day. He told me it he thought it was next to IKEA in Croydon.”

Cook said: “It’s a real thrill to know that any weekend I could be enjoying some of the finest  collections of art anywhere on the planet.

“It’s even more of a thrill to just sit around in my underpants instead.”