A MAN discovered that, contrary to convention, Monday morning is actually a far better time to drink than Friday night.
Brand strategist Stephen Malley previously waited until at least Wednesday to crack a beer and never drank during the day. But the pandemic forced him to change his habits with startling results.
He explained: “When I was homeworking, I got through the Monday staff meeting with a little tipple. Why should that have to change now I’m back in the office?
“So I brought in a few Stellas, offered them around, and by the end of the presentation I was three pints deep and having the best time. I led a chant when Sharon from HR got up to talk us through the overtime forms.
“The boss challenged me, but I made up that it’s a new policy of morning alcohol or tasoittava that’s all the rage in Finland, and I was just pissed enough to be convincing. We’re all doing it now. Productivity’s up, probably, none of us care.
“Who needs a drink on a weekend, when you’ve got no stress on and you’re cheerful anyway? This is targeted, sensible drinking, applying the remedy when it’s needed.
“The only people I’d caution against having a swift one at 8am on a Monday are bus drivers. But even then if it’s a light beer or a crème de menthe I don’t see a problem.”