NEED a stiff drink but have nothing to hand as the next supermarket delivery slot is March 2021? Here are some emergency cocktails you can create with odd items you’ll find kicking about the house.
White rum, mint, lime and soda is a big ask when the cupboards are bare. Instead, grab your cocktail shaker and add a slug of white spirit, a tablespoon of sugar, another of mint sauce and top up with tap water. It’ll give you a lovely buzz, until you go blind.
Bloody Hideous Mary
Tomato juice, Tabasco and a stick of celery? No chance. Instead, mush up a tin of plum tomatoes, sprinkle with cayenne pepper and garnish with anything remotely green from the fridge, including mould. Add vodka until you stop crying.
A Pornstar Martini is usually passion fruit and vodka topped up with champagne, but that’s far too elaborate for lockdown. Instead, pour the dregs from every bottle in your booze cupboard into your fanciest glass, stir, and sip slowly whilst watching Debbie Does Dallas.
Builder’s Iced Tea
A Long Island Iced Tea requires vodka, rum, gin and tequila, which is clearly out of the question. Instead, fill a mug with whatever booze you have to hand and chuck a tea bag in. Wait 20 minutes until it tastes really horrible, then serve over ice you’ve chipped off the back of your freezer.
Deconstructed Pina Colada
Once considered a bit naff, this refreshing blend of pineapple, coconut and rum has made a real comeback. Sadly, you won’t be able to get any of those items at the corner shop, so improvise with a can of Lilt, a Bounty and some lighter fluid. Add a cocktail umbrella for a fun kitsch touch before quickly passing out.