WHY do you have to trudge a quarter of a mile down long corridors to find the loos in every Wetherspoons? Could it be one of these reasons?
To give you a chance to sober up a bit
If you’ve necked six pints of dirt-cheap lager in a non-convivial environment you may start itching to take a swing at the similarly shitfaced twat you’ve ended up sitting next to. A long walk up and down several flights of stairs should sober you up enough to reconsider.
So you get dehydrated and need more booze
In some Wetherspoons the toilets are so far away that the walk leaves you feeling dehydrated enough to start fantasising about sinking another pitcher of Blue Lagoons before you’ve even pissed the last ones out. It’s a bit like when other, normal, pubs put peanuts on the bar, but more sadistic.
To stop the other punters whiffing the aftermath of your rogan josh
A hastily microwaved lamb rogan josh washed down with a gallon of booze that is perilously close to its sell by date is going to create a tsunami in your bowels. By locating the toilets several hundred metres away from the rest of its patrons, Wetherspoons ensures that they won’t be put off the menu until after they’ve already paid for their dinner.
Because Tim Martin is a tightfisted bellend
Tim Martin’s efforts to bin off his entire workforce when Covid hit proved him to be a penny-pincher. Placing the toilets as far away as possible from the bar stops people desperate for a pee from coming in off the street to use them without buying anything, the freeloading cheapskates.
So you forget where and who you are
Spend long enough in a Wetherspoons and the music-free, joyless atmosphere will have you questioning your choice of drinking establishment. However, a lengthy walk through several gloomy corridors will leave you feeling so disorientated and stressed that the only solution is to buy another pint of nasty warm ale when you finally find the bar again.