A PAIR of grandparents who it was suggested could try Dry January and started crying with laughter, it has emerged.
Retired couple Roy and Rita Hobbs fell about in patronising hysterics after their granddaughter Emma sincerely suggested they give up the one vice they can still safely enjoy in their seventies.
Mr Hobbs said: “We were pissed when she floated the idea, which made it even funnier. Then we clinked our glasses and said ‘yeah, we’ll think about it.’ I don’t remember much after that.”
Grandmother Rita said: “What does she think we’re still clinging on to life for? A bus pass and a shingles vaccination? Sorry sweetheart, we’re only hanging around to enjoy a balanced diet of excess booze.
“Getting shitfaced is all old people do. If we’re going for a countryside walk we make sure to bring a Thermos full of sherry, and the main reason we go to church is for the wine. It’s not like we need to stay sober for work in the morning.
“We might not make it to February anyway, so we might as well live a little while we can. We can’t go skydiving or bungee jumping. Necking a few brandies before midday is as good as it gets at our age.”
Granddaughter Emma said: “Okay, point taken. But I thought they were going to explode when I asked them about Veganuary.”