NOT sure whether you need another drink or not? Utter one of these phrases and your doubt will instantly be washed away by another pint of lager.
Hair of the dog
This is an old English phrase that suggests a wound can be healed by placing on it a burnt hair of the rabid dog that bit you. It also works for booze because drinking more on top of a hangover will make you feel dreadful initially, but eventually you’ll be so pissed again that you’ll stop noticing.
One for the road
Uttering this phrase suggests you’re going to be leaving imminently, but, in reality, you’re actually settling in for at least another 45 minutes while you consume your drink. And when that one’s done, you’ll have another one for the road, and keep doing so up to the point you get kicked out and have to walk home absolutely shitfaced.
A toast to literally anyone
Raising a glass to a loved one or happy couple is a lovely gesture, unless you’re just using it as an excuse to prolong a lengthy boozing session. If the charging of glasses gets to the stage where you’re honouring Mr Brindle, your secondary school woodwork teacher, or Karl and Susan from Neighbours, it’s time to lower your glass and go home.
Waste not, want not
Don’t let being full to the brim with Stella put you off if there’s unwanted alcohol around. Simply utter the phrase ‘Waste not, want not’ and you have given yourself permission to disgustingly minesweep the remaining drinks on the table or bar. You’ll probably catch something and it will serve you right.
Whose round is it?
At this point, it doesn’t matter. You’re so pissed and full of bonhomie that you don’t care if it’s your round every time, you’ll happily whip out your card to buy the whole pub a drink. Your partner, on the other hand, will be furious when it pops up on the joint account app that you’ve just spent £157 in the Duke of York. Whoops.