‘Hilarious’ chalkboard outside pub has no effect on man’s decision to get pissed

A MAN’S decision to get wasted in a pub was in no way influenced by a chalkboard message inviting him to come inside.

The chalkboard – reading ‘Happiness’ with an arrow pointing towards the pub and another saying ‘Reality’ pointing away from it – was not among the factors causing Tom Booker to get shitfaced.

Administrator Booker said: “I was already sold on the idea of after-work drinks, because it was after work and I needed a drink.

“I chose The Ship because it sells alcohol and is near my office. Also it has crisps and toilets. That’s pretty much all that went into the decision.

“I’m sure there are commuters on their way home who see the chalkboard message and decide to abandon their plans and choose ‘happiness’ over ‘reality’, but that’s just not what happened here.”

Booker said he would not have been swayed by other chalkboard messages, such as ‘Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder’ or one insinuating that hipsters were not allowed then revealing the target of the joke was in fact hamsters.

He said: “It’s really not about the quality of the sign, that’s just not how I make plans.”