AN older man enjoying a vigorous sex life found it difficult to buy condoms due to using dated euphemisms.
Divorced retiree Norman Steele, 66, regularly meets ladies for sex thanks to Match.com and Viagra, but would prefer not to become a father when he is already a grandfather.
However a recent trip to Boots became fraught when Steele failed to realise that no one has referred to condoms as ‘rubber johnnies’ since approximately 1983.
Steele said: “The young female pharmacist just looked confused. Surely everyone knows what a johnny is. It’s the same as a French letter. You know, a prophylactic.
“I quietly explained I just wanted to get my leg over but she still didn’t get it. I said I was having a bit of ‘how’s your father’ but she just smiled and said he was growing courgettes in his greenhouse.
“Eventually an older, male shop assistant came over and asked if I needed standard, ribbed or fetherlite. Honestly, you wouldn’t think there’d be so much confusion over a bit of rumpo.”
Steele finally left the shop with 30 Durex but not before exchanging phone numbers with a younger 58-year-old woman waiting for her angina pills.