Man who thought hay fever was a load of bollocks gets hay fever

A MAN who believed hay fever was a trivial ailment that wimps enjoy complaining about has changed his mind after getting it himself.

Roy Hobbs had dismissed sufferers as feeble hypochondriacs, but after suddenly developing the allergy this week described himself as “in the worst pits of Hell”.

He said: “At first I thought it was a cold but then my eyes started to itch and I couldn’t stop sneezing. The pain is unbearable. I might have to go to the doctor for some morphine.

“Hay fever, I have realised, is the worst ailment known to man. I’ve been in bed for three days feeling just terrible and – oh god, take cover, I’ve got another sneeze coming.

“My wife suffers from it and manages to get on with her life, but I have clearly got it much, much worse than everyone else. I am not sure I will last the summer.”

Hobbs is currently writing his last will and testament and has asked that his life savings be donated to hayfever research.