IT is your patriotic duty to get royally pissed for Her Majesty this Jubilee weekend. But make sure you pace yourself properly with these tips.
The Jubilee weekend is a marathon of inebriation, not a sprint. Amateurs will have started getting pissed on Wednesday night, but seasoned pros will take things slow on Thursday morning with a couple of half pints before lunch. This might not seem impressive to onlookers, but try to think of them as alcoholic callisthenics. They’re needed to prepare your body for the carnage to come.
Remember to eat
The mantra ‘eating’s cheating’ is certainly true on a night out when you’re trying to get hammered as quickly as possible. But on a four-day weekend you need to put food into your face to survive. Don’t worry about its nutritional value, any burger or kebab will do, just so long as it takes the edge off.
Keep mixing to a minimum
Choose your lane this morning and stick to it. Don’t try to change from beer to wine or spirits after a couple of days because you’ve got bored, the uncontrollable physical consequences will not be worth it. Also you don’t want to let the Queen down by passing out in a puddle of your own puke before Sunday.
Don’t be afraid to drink water
A couple of pints of water in the evening will help to clear your system and prepare you for the next day of heavy drinking. Try to wait until you’re home to pour yourself a glass though, because asking for council pop in a pub is a risky move on normal weekends. This weekend it’ll probably get you thrown through a window.
Try to get some sleep
The Jubilee weekend is 96 hours long, so there’s no way you can stay conscious for all of it. Don’t feel that you have to stick to your usual sleeping routine though. Public gardens and bus shelters are perfectly good places to pass out for a couple of hours before heading back to the pub.