A MAN who gave up booze for a month has already successfully undone all of the positive effects of his abstinence.
Joe Turner of Gateshead took part in Dry January for the first time this year and experienced an incredible transformation. His skin lost all its habitual redness, he stopped waking up on roundabouts at 3am, and his liver began to heal.
But in an inspiring bout of excessive drinking, Turner managed to completely cancel out every single positive effect eliminating alcohol had provided him in less than 24 hours.
He said: “It’s Dry January for a reason. It implies a duty to start drinking the moment February begins. I’m not a mug.
“Yes, I might have felt better, looked better and been a better husband and father – but that first sip of beer was nothing short of heavenly. The next 7,000 were pretty great too.
“And I had to drink a staggering amount to make up for those 31 lost days. Around 5am I got up onto the worktop in the kitchen and sang Young Americans by David Bowie. I’ll cherish that vague memory forever.
“I’ll admit it was a novelty waking up not feeling like shit, but there’s something incredibly comforting about being my normal, drunken self again. Like putting on a pair of warm, piss-soaked slippers.”