A MAN bases his opinion of every country he visits purely on how cheap it is to buy beer.
Having recently returned from the Croatian city of Split, renowned for its scenic views and ancient architecture, Stephen Malley could not stop raving about how cheap the bars were.
Malley said: “It was brilliant, you could get absolutely tanked for a tenner. It was like being back in the 90s, except I could also watch the football on my phone.
“My wife dragged me out to the beach, but honestly I didn’t understand why we needed to leave the hotel bar. The kids would’ve been just as happy sharing a plate of chips and watching me drink gallons of local lager as they were snorkelling.
“However it wasn’t as good as Spain. The beer is practically cheaper than water there, and you can get wine for less than a quid. It’s in a box, but I’m not fussy about how I get pissed.
“I’m currently pushing for our next family holiday to be to Caracas in Venezuela. It’s one of the most violent cities in the world, so the wife might take some persuading, but the beer is 52p a litre. It’s worth it just so I can see the look on my friends’ faces when I tell them.”