AN UNTOUCHED glass of tap water has done nothing to take the edge off a man’s raging hangover.
Tom Logan has somehow woken up with a splitting headache and a nauseous feeling in his stomach, even though he poured himself a pint of water after he returned from the pub then forgot to drink it.
Logan said: “I don’t understand. I did everything right but the science has failed me. Surely even being in the vicinity of water should cancel out the eight lagers, four gin and tonics and three tequila slammers I necked last night?
“Instead here I am, shielding myself from low-intensity lighting and questioning every aspect of what I’m doing with my life while looking at a pint of water with those bubbles in it. Nothing about this picture adds up.
“This happens every time I go on an epic bender. I’m beginning to think the so-called ‘glass of water trick’ might be a load of pseudoscience bollocks like palm reading or the Myers-Briggs test.”
Logan’s girlfriend Nikki Hollis said: “I told Tom he actually has to drink the water, which gave him the dry heaves. But he’s promised next time he’ll try to have two or three sips before he blacks out.”