Sunday, 27th September 2020

Twat about to scan alcohol through a self-checkout

A TWAT in a busy supermarket is about to f**k up everyone’s day by scanning wine through a self-service checkout, it has emerged.

Martin Bishop put a queue of shoppers on edge by casually placing a bottle of Australian chardonnay onto the self-checkout as if it would not prove a major roadblock to all their plans.

Donna Sheridan said: “As soon as he plonked the bottle down we all visibly sagged and resigned ourselves to the fact that we’re in this for the long haul.

“He’ll get to the end, the light will start flashing red and there won’t be a supervisor to be seen. Even then he seems to be ignorant of social distancing so we’ll all have to watch that little dance.

“Why would he put us through this? The only way he could make it worse is if he suddenly remembers he forgot broccoli and pops off to get it.”

Bishop said: “I’ve bought booze through these things plenty of times and it’s always a tedious, drawn-out faff. But maybe it’ll be different this time.

“I’ve also just realised that I don’t have my wallet with me. But I’m sure I can work out how to pay on my iPhone. It’s always somebody’s first time!”