Monday, 25th May 2020

'What's reasonably priced?' asks man in London pub

A MAN has asked a barman in a London pub what they have that’s fairly priced, while presumably expecting the dead to rise and frogs to rain from the sky. 

Nathan Muir of Sheffield visited The Cornershop in Shoreditch and asked, as if casually requesting a crying statue of the Virgin Mary, what they had for under a fiver.

Muir said: “He looked at me blankly, as if breaking the news about Santa to a child, and said ‘Nothing.’

“I started speaking and he cut me off and with a tone of ‘unicorns don’t exist’ added: “Not even Carlsberg.’

“I’d hoped he’d say ‘£2.85 for Tennant’s, and the glass collector can cure the blind.’ But he didn’t so I paid six quid for a Carlsberg.

Muir continued to hope for a miracle when he offered a girl a drink and she asked for a double gin and tonic.

He said: “‘Special price for doubles?’ I asked. The barman fixed me with a glare and told me to keep praying.”