37-year-old woman thinks DJs are cool

A WOMAN in her late thirties still believes DJs are cool, it has emerged.

Mother-of-one Nikki Hollis is still in childlike awe of people whose job is to play fast music to people on drugs.

She said: “DJs are incredibly talented individuals. I mean Stephen Hawking might know about time and the universe and so on, but he couldn’t play a banging set at World Dance in 1994 like Kenny Ken did.

“People who say DJs just play other people’s music haven’t experienced Sasha at Bagley’s which was like watching a composer conducting a symphony, except everyone’s nutted on pills.”

Sensible car owner and sewing fan Hollis added: “The best DJs are Grooverider, Groove Armada and Easygroove, because having the word ‘groove’ in your name is pretty awesome. Apparently it even says ‘Grooverider’ on Grooverider’s Visa Delta debit card.

“And what about when hip hop DJs do scratching by moving the record back and forth? I just don’t know how they do that.

“The only people more amazing than DJs are MCs. Especially Sharkey and Mongoose, they should probably get the Nobel prize for services to rave.”