49 year-old at rock gig realises he’s easily the youngest person there

A 49 year-old indie rock fan was the definitely youngest person at a gig in Camden, it has emerged.

Tom Logan looked around the dank venue he first visited in 1986 and found himself surrounded by shaven headed, leather jacketed men and orange haired women typically five or six years his senior.

Logan said: “I expected to get there and have everyone look at me as if to say,’why aren’t you at home watching a murder mystery on ITV3, you sad, pathetic, doughy old man?’.

“But from the granny who rubber-stamped my hand to the hefty 60 year-old geezer who checked my bag and said ‘in you go, sonny’, it was completely obvious I was the youngest person in the venue.”

He added: “I got talking to some guys about the band and they asked if I’d seen them at the Futurama festival in Leeds in 1979.

“When I said I was only 12 at the time, they looked at me like I was Private Pike.”

Logan revealed he also found himself in a moshpit with a prefect from grammar school who had once given 100 lines for running in the corridor.

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Haircut turns weird after customer says he doesn't care about football

A HAIRCUT turned weird and awkward after a barber and a customer failed to have a discussion about football.

Tom Booker was having his haircut by Wayne Hayes in an encounter which lasted about 10 minutes but felt like six hours.

Booker said: “He asked what I thought about ‘the football’, and I said that I don’t care about ‘the football’ in any way whatsoever and that I’m more of a theatre fan. This made him flinch.

“Then he pretended to be extra careful about attaching the thing to the clipper thing that makes your hair different lengths, but I could tell he was stalling while thinking of other topics. It was really horrible.”

Hayes said: “This is an empty husk of a man.

“He could at least have pretended to like football. He could have pretended to be a proper man. It’s weird and wrong and I hope he never comes back.”