TAX-CAUTIOUS online retailer Amazon has been flooded with orders for box sets following the royal pregnancy announcement.
Television will be effectively redundant for the next eighteen months as the eventual unelected head of the country gestates, emerges, and is paraded.
Wayne Hayes from Carlisle said: I dont care if Amazon spend their tax money on 30-stone dominatrixes, Im not watching Huw Edwards use the word glowing every eight seconds for the foreseeable bastard future.
Ive blocked all the news websites on my internet, disconnected the Sky box and said my goodbyes to my grandmother whos 86 with a bad heart and an unhealthy obsession with royal wombs.
I will miss the football, although being a Liverpool fan nows as good a time as any to avoid results for a couple of years.
Amazon reported that HBO series like The Sopranos and The Wire were the first to sell out but as the full horror of the situation became clear, Keeping Up Appearances and even Greys Anatomy began to shift.
The retailer predicts that at the current rate, people may even turn to buying books to keep themselves occupied.
Hayes added: I’m just praying my entertainment supply doesn’t give out, I should make it but may be on Season 19 of Last of the Summer Wine before sanity is resumed.”